so i decided to go to this swedish spring ball last weekend, which is this kind of arranged parties or get-together kinda thing that i normally refuse to attend......for many different reasons ( another blog for that)...though this time though that i should maybe stop being such a bitterfitta and actually check it out..open my mind a bit and give them a chance LOL
my funny colleague was also coming and some weeks followed of stress about dresses and we heard about the housewifes, ordering dresses, making their hair and nails for the big (!) event...we laughed and made fun of it....but got scared since it seemed to be the nobel party or something....we wernt prepared at all....
anyways
had a funny drink at my place before going there, with typical swedish eurovision song contest music (schlager in swedish) and old 90-ies hits to get in the mood....lol
(this is how swedish people party back home.....meet up at someones house, have one tooooo many drinks listen to silly music and get less nervous...)
so we did that..with swedish snacks ( chips & dip .....nostalgia :))))
get there and we re of course really late ( swedish people arent ever late...6 pm means 6 pm..wich by the way is crazy early to start a party..buh hey..swedish parties start early...) and just in time to get a blue (!!!?) alcohol free (!!!!????) drink and hear some welcome speech from the chairMAN of the swedish chamers of commerce.....(bluelagoon !!??? havent that one died out amongst other weird n nasty drink species??)
after that we move into the hall where dinner and party is about to go down...
i end up havin probably the most boring table of all, where a finnish or swedish big guy after pressure from other tables stands up out of the blue and makes a very loud-mumble-neanderthaly-kinda-scream/boraaallllll about how people should drink up and drink more....(not funny, not crazy,,,, no just pointless and weird...) and our table, all felt a little bit crazy and then they laughed nervously and had one more sip of the vodka schnaps....(the event was sponsored by absolut vodka thnk god! or oh no......considering how swedes drink.....)
people got more and more looooseeee and crazy with the free vodka...and more stupid neanderthaly kinda men made outbursts like the finnish/swede by my table...
only 1 woman stands up to speek during the evening and only to acknowledge another womans birthday.....we all sing..and the birthday woman after standing up on her chair while we sang, falls off the chair ( most funny moment of the night!)
then it was time for the HOUSEWIFE CHOIR...no I AM NOT kidding..the MOST EQUAL country in the world according all statistics have a little choir put together with ONLY women and all HOUSEWIFES......unbelievable..i felt naseaus and had to look down during the performance....light cloloured ugly ass dresses ( from the tailor and luxury stores in delhi..) hairs done, make up done...spring songs from sweden... sang by swedish housewife-birds....no no no
this is not happening i think...
after that the EXPAT MEN had to hold speeches, cause that's what important FATTY, DRUNK men with IMPORTANT JOBS do at dinners where their wifes sing songs for the ivited guests of importance....
not a single man in that room had something important or interesting to say in their terrible swenglish (english spoken half in english with a swedish accent half in swedish when u dont know the english words for it).......speeches became longer and more stupid as the dinner continued & as their wifes kept singing more songs....
one song was even written by the finnish/swedes wife (! clap yr hands!) where they were making fun of being a housewife in delhi.....!!!?????
then the exciting draw from the lottery was about to happen :) i had 4 ticktes in my hand hoping for a win :)..i didnt win anything and the FATTY STUPID MEN got more STUPID!
My young, successful, beautiful colleagues Karin & Linda both won different prices and the guy who announced himself as toastmaster in the beginning of the night (and now also the one announcing the winners..) asked without reason and without anyone reacting "where is yr husband?" & "are you married?" (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ( there was 1 woman involved here though...she got to hand out the price to the winners.....?)
honestly people...this is sad...stereotype, stupid, retarded and the reality STILL in 2009
statistics MY ASS.....
naaaaa we must also be the only country where these housewifes are also embarressed of being JUST housewifes though they choose to do this themselves...no one forced these swedish women to join their stupid boring fatty husbands and move to a country far far away....
the excuse you d get from anyone is: ohh yes hmmmm im here with my husband, but u know i had this great amazing job before we came out here yess......
just stand for it, njoy it and do what ever the fuck you want with yr freetime!!!??
i really dun get it..in sweden (and more countries) women can do whatever they want, brothers, fathers, cousins, or neighbours dont kill them if they decide what to do, when to do it and how to do it...
nooo people...
serious going back in time...
fat red glossy men, holding stupid speeches, without meaning, having jobs which they dont deserve probably ( sorry ) and wifes in nice ( what they think) dresses with nice ( what they think) hair n make up singing spring songs for the guests...
here at least they dont have to cook, do grocery shopping, drag bags n kids around to here n there...
no here we have servants and drivers to do all of that for you :)
ahh and how damn double faced am i not...
with amazing music and loads of that free alcohol...i just danced all that feminist anger out of me, had one of the less fatty stupid ones spin me around the dancefloor....dropped a glass on my foot, started bleeding and got a little bit more fatty, stupid and drunk....
bye bye
bitterfittan
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
India will never move forward...buhuuu
so i'm in the south..in a place that god forgot when making india....
have a few examples from just today of how this country will never move forward!!!!!
the hotel where we're stayin at in this place in india that god forgot have carpets in almost all their rooms..this place is HUMID, im talking HUUUUMID people so adding 1+1 makes you realize pretty quickly that moist will stay in these NASTY ASS CARPETS always and mould will eventually turn up....and a terrible smell will occur due to this...this is the 3rd time i stay in this hotel and so far all the rooms have had a nasty smell which i've always pointed out to them...
we arrive and my room stinks..STINKS...of mould...and this smell you know, when you forget laundry in the machine for toooooo loooooong n take them out n they smell..thats the bad ass smell these rooms have..
so i complain n they give me another room...ON THE SAME FLOOR 2 DOORS DOWN!???? same smell with now some added disgusting room perfume to it....cause adding that solves it OR WHAT??!!
after discussions with the hotel manager i realize nothing can be done and no way they ll ever change these carpets....or give me a more expensive room that has marbel floors...
the day passes by with rather stupid supplier meetings...where dead end discussions on design and style just gets me tired, also here i realize no can do...and i surrender...FOR TODAY oooooonly...
( btw ONLY is used in india anywhere, only...another blog for that though..indian-english ONLY)
so we get back to smelly hotel and i think maybe i can go for a swin at the rather big (and so n so clean ) pool...which turns out to be full with kids having what it turns out to be: summer break swim school ...(!)
first thought is yeah progress good great!!!!
had a india-cannot-swim-n-they-r-retarded-people moment 2 weeks ago when H&M entered a
Water Polo competition at a hotel we use for byuers etc coming to india...
water polo, in my world means water=swimming OR??? anyhow it turns out that out of 32 teams ( 7 or 8 in each ) only our team could actually swim....( or the 3 swedish people in our team could.....the 4 indians barely stayed above surface)well the winning team had a few as well who managed the deep water where you couldnt stand up....we came 2nd....due to many reasons....
the water polo day will however be explained in another blog....takes too much time right now..
conclusion from that day was that indians cannot swim, though they think they can (as most things in this country) almost drowning when catching a ball or doing the "dog swim " is to them then actually equal to swimming.
and we ( me, cissi & cissi's boyfriend ( the swedish ref to above) had a great time laughing at the whole thing that day...
but today when coming down to the pool, seeing all these funny ass swimming costumes on these fat kids, diving into the pool with their bellys first arms straight out from their sides, actually made me sad....i was soo happy at first seeing them and thinking ohhh there is hope..maybe these kids will grow up and actually be able to swim in a water polo competition one day not drowning them selves or other contestants...but no.....NO HOPE PEOPLE!!
the 2 teachers there didnt even see it, noone of the watching parents saw it!!! i was suffering...
dog swimming was only the first name to what was going down in that pool today at the smelly hotel....it was terrible....noone did any effort to actually help them to do right...and then i realize...its not because they dont care, its because they dont know them selves...the TEACHERS CANNOT SWIM EITHER!!!!!!
walking up to the teacher afterwards in frustration to see if maybe they d understand what i meant with diving into the pool with the head first, having it between yr arms would make sense...NOOOOO...no english and absolutely no nodding like AHAAA I KNOW WHAT U MEAN reaction to their faces...only numb from side to side indian nodding with their heads..
this stayy guy at the hotel explained it to me like...
Yes madam but you know, its only for saving lives and so in the water, not really swimming...
i reply:
but these kids will never be able to save their own or any one elses lives by doing this, rather the opposite mister!!??
and another guy standing next to the teacher says...
No madam no breastswim we teach them ( i suggested that instead of the crawling they thought they were doing splashing all that water around their sinking bodies ( fat bodies) no, only freestyle madam...
I reply:
but this is not freestyle, sir this is suicide and drowning style?!!
im all of a sudden all empty inside and angry cause these kids deserve to get the right education from start....
..giving up also on this and i go back to my room...
so i feel like ordering a fresh juice ( as per the menu, which also btw has the whiskey, rhum etc under wine list...where only 1 wine was added not red or white at least, no only wine...and by bottle.....indian wine, by bottle....) so i order but asking before how long this will take ( since this morning i ordered a tea that took 20 mins to get, with explanation that it took loooong to boil everything together ?!!! in india..!!! thats the only thing people DRINK, TEA!!!), the man says 10-15 mins...i say ok, pls 1 mango juice then.
10 mins ( !) the guy comes with the juice....i open and he says happily to me with 1 tooth missing in his upper front row..orange juice yes madam....i say no i ordered mango??
so i remove the little lid theyd put on the glass and smell (YES ORANGE my friends...ahahah) i say, but this is orange!?
then he says, yes mango madam...i say no this is orange, no madam mango, and i taste it...yes its orange, madam pls sign here...but its orange not mango!? ok well never mind just leave pls...
and then i decided to write this blog with my indian "mango" juice and a cigarette in my now again after the room perfume has died out SMELLY ASS ROOM!
gooood eve people...goin down to velans restaurant now for hopefully a tasty wrong order.
xo
have a few examples from just today of how this country will never move forward!!!!!
the hotel where we're stayin at in this place in india that god forgot have carpets in almost all their rooms..this place is HUMID, im talking HUUUUMID people so adding 1+1 makes you realize pretty quickly that moist will stay in these NASTY ASS CARPETS always and mould will eventually turn up....and a terrible smell will occur due to this...this is the 3rd time i stay in this hotel and so far all the rooms have had a nasty smell which i've always pointed out to them...
we arrive and my room stinks..STINKS...of mould...and this smell you know, when you forget laundry in the machine for toooooo loooooong n take them out n they smell..thats the bad ass smell these rooms have..
so i complain n they give me another room...ON THE SAME FLOOR 2 DOORS DOWN!???? same smell with now some added disgusting room perfume to it....cause adding that solves it OR WHAT??!!
after discussions with the hotel manager i realize nothing can be done and no way they ll ever change these carpets....or give me a more expensive room that has marbel floors...
the day passes by with rather stupid supplier meetings...where dead end discussions on design and style just gets me tired, also here i realize no can do...and i surrender...FOR TODAY oooooonly...
( btw ONLY is used in india anywhere, only...another blog for that though..indian-english ONLY)
so we get back to smelly hotel and i think maybe i can go for a swin at the rather big (and so n so clean ) pool...which turns out to be full with kids having what it turns out to be: summer break swim school ...(!)
first thought is yeah progress good great!!!!
had a india-cannot-swim-n-they-r-retarded-people moment 2 weeks ago when H&M entered a
Water Polo competition at a hotel we use for byuers etc coming to india...
water polo, in my world means water=swimming OR??? anyhow it turns out that out of 32 teams ( 7 or 8 in each ) only our team could actually swim....( or the 3 swedish people in our team could.....the 4 indians barely stayed above surface)well the winning team had a few as well who managed the deep water where you couldnt stand up....we came 2nd....due to many reasons....
the water polo day will however be explained in another blog....takes too much time right now..
conclusion from that day was that indians cannot swim, though they think they can (as most things in this country) almost drowning when catching a ball or doing the "dog swim " is to them then actually equal to swimming.
and we ( me, cissi & cissi's boyfriend ( the swedish ref to above) had a great time laughing at the whole thing that day...
but today when coming down to the pool, seeing all these funny ass swimming costumes on these fat kids, diving into the pool with their bellys first arms straight out from their sides, actually made me sad....i was soo happy at first seeing them and thinking ohhh there is hope..maybe these kids will grow up and actually be able to swim in a water polo competition one day not drowning them selves or other contestants...but no.....NO HOPE PEOPLE!!
the 2 teachers there didnt even see it, noone of the watching parents saw it!!! i was suffering...
dog swimming was only the first name to what was going down in that pool today at the smelly hotel....it was terrible....noone did any effort to actually help them to do right...and then i realize...its not because they dont care, its because they dont know them selves...the TEACHERS CANNOT SWIM EITHER!!!!!!
walking up to the teacher afterwards in frustration to see if maybe they d understand what i meant with diving into the pool with the head first, having it between yr arms would make sense...NOOOOO...no english and absolutely no nodding like AHAAA I KNOW WHAT U MEAN reaction to their faces...only numb from side to side indian nodding with their heads..
this stayy guy at the hotel explained it to me like...
Yes madam but you know, its only for saving lives and so in the water, not really swimming...
i reply:
but these kids will never be able to save their own or any one elses lives by doing this, rather the opposite mister!!??
and another guy standing next to the teacher says...
No madam no breastswim we teach them ( i suggested that instead of the crawling they thought they were doing splashing all that water around their sinking bodies ( fat bodies) no, only freestyle madam...
I reply:
but this is not freestyle, sir this is suicide and drowning style?!!
im all of a sudden all empty inside and angry cause these kids deserve to get the right education from start....
..giving up also on this and i go back to my room...
so i feel like ordering a fresh juice ( as per the menu, which also btw has the whiskey, rhum etc under wine list...where only 1 wine was added not red or white at least, no only wine...and by bottle.....indian wine, by bottle....) so i order but asking before how long this will take ( since this morning i ordered a tea that took 20 mins to get, with explanation that it took loooong to boil everything together ?!!! in india..!!! thats the only thing people DRINK, TEA!!!), the man says 10-15 mins...i say ok, pls 1 mango juice then.
10 mins ( !) the guy comes with the juice....i open and he says happily to me with 1 tooth missing in his upper front row..orange juice yes madam....i say no i ordered mango??
so i remove the little lid theyd put on the glass and smell (YES ORANGE my friends...ahahah) i say, but this is orange!?
then he says, yes mango madam...i say no this is orange, no madam mango, and i taste it...yes its orange, madam pls sign here...but its orange not mango!? ok well never mind just leave pls...
and then i decided to write this blog with my indian "mango" juice and a cigarette in my now again after the room perfume has died out SMELLY ASS ROOM!
gooood eve people...goin down to velans restaurant now for hopefully a tasty wrong order.
xo
Monday, April 27, 2009
technical problems.....
so obviously the technique isnt always aaiiighhhtttt over here...this is what my dear leen was given when opening my blog for the first time LMAO..i see it clearly but this is what she gets...dun understand...pls blogger god, help me out here!
she's back pplsss
so basically UBER.COM dissapeared into the blue, i lost sooooo much fun stories, though some are hard to erasre from my inner vision...
like the guy ( now in plural -s) taking a shit, pointing his ass towards the passing by traffic ( me) ...or the 5 hrs sweaty first sunday ( in india ) experience in church....(u who know me...its been a while since me n church was all good) ALL IN HINDI and in 45-50 degrees celsius....covered from head to toe...with a thick (!) scarf on my jetlagged head......
there are many many stories from my now....almost 10 months in india, new delhi..best way to follow me is still on flickr.com/photos/louisewennberg, or twitter.com/louisewennberg or hmm facebook.com.....im an addict yes i am....getting better though.....some days i dont even open my laptop....
so funny last news from the superstitious india....
Calling my driver varun to cmf pick up time for friday morning...
Louise: hello
Varun: hello madam ( fuck the brits for madam, sir n ma'am...)
L: how are you?
V: ohhhh not so god madam...
L : oh no! whats wrong!? what happened??
V: no its the period now...many have same problem...its the eye...very bad, maybe not work 2morrow....
L: oh ok, but what is it? allergy?
V: maybe for the weather now....
L: Ok, well do u think you can drive still, despite this?
V: ok, yes i will , but maybe not work all day...
L: ok good, so see u tmorrow.
My dear colleague ( sucessful, modern, independent ( for being an indian woman in her 30ies) turns to me...
Colleague:what happened?
lOUISE: no varun is ill..has as i understood an eye infection...
Colleague: OH NOOOOOO, well you know, now you CANT look straight into his eyes, then you ll catch it as well!
lOUISE: OK now you re acting retarded my dear! ok maybe if he pokes himself in the eye, i touch his finger n then pokes my eye with that finger I d get it!!!
We all laugh a bit in the car but i couldnt really shake it off my mind...joke, or not? yeah must have been, this much stupidness cannot be fo real!
NEXT MORNING
V picks me up
L: how are you?
V: ohh better now, took medicine last night...
L: ohh good, yeah i see its a little bit red ( btw I wake up every day with red eyes in this country due to messed up AC, fan or just HARDCORE pollution )
V: well you know, now anyone who looks straight into my eyes, they'll catch it as well!
L: ohhh ok...are you sure??
V missunderstands and replies for something different..
V also have to leave work at 11-ish due to his illness LMAO
Ohhh another good one on weird believes in india, where everyone has something to say, add, suggest, question or just stare you out
Was terribly sunburnt last week, ( 6 hrs in the sun w/o sunscreen in the water...) and started peeling off to the point where salami gone brownish was not far from how shoulders n arms n back looked like...
V sees this in the car and looks terrified..
V: what happened!!!! OH NOOOOOOOOO
L: no nothing just burnt from the sun, so dead skin is coming off...
V: you know..
L: no??
V: you should drink milk and eat dry fruits and nuts,...that will help..
L: hmm are you sure??? this is on the skin you know...
V: yessss very good..
L ????????????????
ok...
goodnite
like the guy ( now in plural -s) taking a shit, pointing his ass towards the passing by traffic ( me) ...or the 5 hrs sweaty first sunday ( in india ) experience in church....(u who know me...its been a while since me n church was all good) ALL IN HINDI and in 45-50 degrees celsius....covered from head to toe...with a thick (!) scarf on my jetlagged head......
there are many many stories from my now....almost 10 months in india, new delhi..best way to follow me is still on flickr.com/photos/louisewennberg, or twitter.com/louisewennberg or hmm facebook.com.....im an addict yes i am....getting better though.....some days i dont even open my laptop....
so funny last news from the superstitious india....
Calling my driver varun to cmf pick up time for friday morning...
Louise: hello
Varun: hello madam ( fuck the brits for madam, sir n ma'am...)
L: how are you?
V: ohhhh not so god madam...
L : oh no! whats wrong!? what happened??
V: no its the period now...many have same problem...its the eye...very bad, maybe not work 2morrow....
L: oh ok, but what is it? allergy?
V: maybe for the weather now....
L: Ok, well do u think you can drive still, despite this?
V: ok, yes i will , but maybe not work all day...
L: ok good, so see u tmorrow.
My dear colleague ( sucessful, modern, independent ( for being an indian woman in her 30ies) turns to me...
Colleague:what happened?
lOUISE: no varun is ill..has as i understood an eye infection...
Colleague: OH NOOOOOO, well you know, now you CANT look straight into his eyes, then you ll catch it as well!
lOUISE: OK now you re acting retarded my dear! ok maybe if he pokes himself in the eye, i touch his finger n then pokes my eye with that finger I d get it!!!
We all laugh a bit in the car but i couldnt really shake it off my mind...joke, or not? yeah must have been, this much stupidness cannot be fo real!
NEXT MORNING
V picks me up
L: how are you?
V: ohh better now, took medicine last night...
L: ohh good, yeah i see its a little bit red ( btw I wake up every day with red eyes in this country due to messed up AC, fan or just HARDCORE pollution )
V: well you know, now anyone who looks straight into my eyes, they'll catch it as well!
L: ohhh ok...are you sure??
V missunderstands and replies for something different..
V also have to leave work at 11-ish due to his illness LMAO
Ohhh another good one on weird believes in india, where everyone has something to say, add, suggest, question or just stare you out
Was terribly sunburnt last week, ( 6 hrs in the sun w/o sunscreen in the water...) and started peeling off to the point where salami gone brownish was not far from how shoulders n arms n back looked like...
V sees this in the car and looks terrified..
V: what happened!!!! OH NOOOOOOOOO
L: no nothing just burnt from the sun, so dead skin is coming off...
V: you know..
L: no??
V: you should drink milk and eat dry fruits and nuts,...that will help..
L: hmm are you sure??? this is on the skin you know...
V: yessss very good..
L ????????????????
ok...
goodnite
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